Stuck in a Moment

She slowly closes her locker door. The weight of the bag she slings on her shoulder could not compare to how heavy her heart felt. Looking up, she suddenly sees him standing at the end of the corridor gaily chatting to his friends. Seeing the wide smile on his face, her heart breaks a little more. She quietly turns on her heel and walks down the opposite end of the hallway to her classroom.

Plumping up the pillows on her bed, she settles herself comfortably back down and turns her attention back to her half written paper. It is 10pm, and she still had loads to finish on the assignment that was due tomorrow. *beep* He was online. All of a sudden, she found it hard to concentrate. Questions swam in her head; if would he message her, what would they talk about, how was she supposed to react... As she prints out the last pages of her assignment 2 hours later, she takes one last peek at her messenger. He was still online. No message. With a deep sigh, she shuts the lid of her laptop.

She stares at the screen of her hand phone. She had just spent the past 20 minutes figuring out how to write a simple, non-combustible message (without betraying how she felt) to him just to request for a copy of the project guidelines that were handed out in class that afternoon. The instant and short reply of just 'Sure.' made her sad, like he couldn't be bothered with her. Gone were the 'dear's and 'miss you's that always accompanied his messages.

It had been a pleasant day, with much shopping and laughter as she whiled away the time with her best friend. As they speed past the beach, she suddenly falls quiet leaving Mindy to chatter on. She looks at the sunset, at the crashing waves, the long stretch of white sand, the couples walking along hand-in-hand and she suddenly feels a terrible hollowness within her. He had promised to take her for that long awaited beach trip, which now seemed never to be.

She had tried her best to fill her time; buying novels to read, organizing outings with friends, chatting on the phone, keeping up with her studies... but at every free moment, he crept into her thoughts. And at the of the day, when everything was over and she had locked her front door behind her, she was always haunted by the emptiness of her house and the crushing loneliness of just her.. and she would weep.

Untangled

A strand of hair blew across her face. Tucking it behind her ear, her unblinking gaze at the bluish green mountains out in the open sea travelled to the distant familiar figure that was gradually coming closer. Months of anguish and sleepless nights were finally coming to a close. It was time to stop living in what-ifs and make a decision.

A soft smile grazed her lips as she drank in the crinkly eyes, crooked grin and endearing stare. Months of suppressed emotions bubbled to the surface and she took a deep breath to steady herself. Looking down at the small book in her hands, she took a last flip through it. Photographs, a dried rose, perfumed notes in different colours; bits of memories flashed by. Stopping now and again at a few dog-eared pages, worn with use, she stared blankly at them occasionally looking up toward the sea.

It had been torturous, a meticulous perfectionist like her, to have all her well-made plans blow away by a whirlwind of something she could not control. And yet, it had been a truly exhilarating ride with guilt-trip detours now and again. Trying to hold on tight to someone familiar, someone she knew she could trust, could love her the way she wanted to be loved, all the while her heart was slowly stolen away by someone she never imagined she could fall in love with. And she was never one to embrace change.

It was difficult to do the right thing, and even more difficult to convince herself that it was right. But in the end, she knew it was what she truly wanted. It was always him, even if he was the unknown, somehow deep down she knew something was there. And she was banking on it to get them through.

She stood as he strolled up to her side. She brought her arm to the back, and with all her might flung everything in the sea; the book taking along her regrets, her uncertainties, her hesitations. Taking a deep, calming breath, she turned to him and flung her arms around his neck. Bringing her lips to his ear, she told him she loved him for the first time.